| English is hard to learn!- Back to School | e-Forwards.com - Funny ... May 30th 2012, 05:33 
 'I refuse to read this refuse!'
****** 
A poem showing how Absurd the English Language is. When the English tongue we speak.
Why is break not rhymed with freak?
Will you tell me why it's true
We say sew but likewise few?
And the maker of the verse,
Cannot rhyme his horse with worse?
Beard is not the same as heard
Cord is different from word.
Cow is cow but low is low
Shoe is never rhymed with foe.
Think of hose, dose,and lose And think of goose and yet with choose Think of comb, tomb and bomb,
Doll and roll or home and some.
Since pay is rhymed with say
Why not paid with said I pray?
Think of blood, food and good.
Mould is not pronounced like could.
Wherefore done, but gone and lone -
Is there any reason known?
To sum up all, it seems to me
Sound and letters don't agree. This was written by Lord Cromer, published in the Spectator of August 9th, 1902 ******************* AND other strange English Language facts He could lead if he would get the lead out. A farm can produce produce. The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse. The soldier decided to desert in the desert. The present is a good time to present the present. At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum. The dove dove into the bushes. I did not object to the object. The insurance for the invalid was invalid. The bandage was wound around the wound. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. They were too close to the door to close it. The buck does funny things when the does are present. They sent a sewer down to stitch the tear in the sewer line. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow. The wind was too strong to wind the sail. After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got number. I shed a tear when I saw the tear in my clothes. I had to subject the subject to a series of tests. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend? I spent last evening evening out a pile of dirt. We polish the Polish furniture. And Finally: There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. Quicksand can work slowly. Boxing rings are square and if vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?????? ***** Same Words, Different Meanings Eight different meanings, depending on where in the sentence you place ONLY. 1. ONLY I hit him in the eye yesterday. (No one else did)
2. I ONLY hit him in the eye yesterday. (Did not slap him)
3. I hit ONLY him in the eye yesterday. (I did not hit others)
4. I hit him ONLY in the eye yesterday. (I did not hit outside the eye)
5. I hit him in ONLY the eye yesterday. (Not other organs)
6. I hit him in the ONLY eye yesterday. (He doesn't have another eye)
7. I hit him in the eye ONLY yesterday. (Not today)
8. I hit him in the eye yesterday ONLY. (Did not wait for today) ******* 
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