I have always been an optimist. I was fed with fairy tales, stories of hopes and dreams, the victory of the underdog, people rising above themselves and achieving greatness, and even something as simple as good men doing kind deeds for one another. Those stories, whether fictional or not, were the foundation of my positive perspective in life. Whenever something would get screwed up in my life, I would just picture this very idealistic better future in my head and say to myself, “It will get better. Just keep pushing through and living through every day and you’ll get there.” That was my default setting when it came to problems in every aspect of my life, and yes, that includes love.
Most of the movies I’ve watched were all chick flicks and romantic comedies and it’s no wonder why I’m one of those people hoping for an epic love story. In a relationship, I would always wait for the plot to twist, or a sudden realization of feelings, or an impulsive yet romantic pronouncement of the three magic words “I love you.” Yet of course, that hasn’t happened yet.
While I was reviewing for my nursing licensure exam, I took a time off to relax and watch movies from the computer. Although I’ve seen the movie before, I still decided to watch the film He’s Not Just Into You. At the time, I felt like it was what I needed; the kick that I needed to make me realize things especially about love. And boy did reality came like a splash of cold water on my face.
The movie, which is based from the book of the same title, focuses on the fact that in love, you always have to assume that you are not the exception. You are the rule. This one is actually funny because it applies to me so well. I’d meet this really likeable person who has some bad qualities or intense issues. And I would go and ignore all those negative aspects and just focus on the positive ones thinking that those may just change in the future. Or let’s say I started liking someone, however, I’m not sure if that person likes me back. What I’d do is that I’d push on with it regardless the doubt in my head on where the relationship is going and how the fact that the person could make me feel insecure and desperate. I’d still continue going through it hoping that things would change. That is a mistake. Those were my stupid mistakes and the book and movie is so right on in pointing out the facts and how I was really thinking things wrong.
I decided to try it out on this person I really like and you know what? It turned out that we weren’t going anywhere and that person has recently just started dating this other guy. Of course I was disappointed and hurt, but it goes to show that it’s all true! If someone really likes you, they’d make an effort to call you or text you almost everyday. They’d really go on their way just to show you how they really are into you. They’d be thinking about you non-stop and bring you up in almost every conversation they’ve had during their day. Because that’s what people do when they like someone. And if that person you likes don’t do any of these, or somehow makes you feel unsure of yourself and suddenly insecure, then they are not just that into you. If you’re unsure about where the two of you are heading, they are not just that into you.
Those stories every one keeps telling you where things have changed and things have worked out despite the rough start, they’re the exception. We have got to stop thinking that we’re somehow the exception. To avoid heartbreak, we have to assume we’re the rule. My mistake was I held on to the good little things which gave me hope but chances are those little things are just stuff that they do to keep you hanging on. They are just leading you on. If not, they just don’t want to hurt your feelings. They just don’t have the guts to tell you, “Hey. I’m sorry but you’re not really my type.”
Source:
http://jtvenz72.wordpress.com/2013/06/11/the-harsh-truth/
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