Funny Halloween: The Adventures of Erica: Exhausted

Ugh, I knew it would get hairy with the sleep thing. I am just so tired - nights are pretty challenging for me at this point. Ethan is only 2 months old and he goes to bed anywhere between 7 and 9, and then wakes up around 12, 2, 4 and 6. The times move around but 4 times a night is pretty standard. I'm not getting much sleep in a stretch and it's hard. This is about what Anna was doing at this age and I know it slowly gets better but it doesn't make it any easier.

The good news is that Ethan goes down pretty easily during the day, even if it's only for an hour or so. Every once in a while I can get a 2 hour nap and that's really nice. Ugh it's such a slog. I can feel my brain just losing function - it seems squishier. It's harder for me to remember things and make simple decisions. I feel so downtrodden at night too - last night around 4 I almost cried. It's just really hard right now.

We had Ethan's 2 month appointment yesterday and the big guy is 14 pounds. He's healthy and happy. I can't believe how much he giggles and smiles. Had kind of a funny moment with the pediatrician. He was asking me basic questions about Ethan and one was - "does he follow you around the room with his eyes?" And I said yes, of course he does, but only me. Poor Uri feels sad when he's holding him and all he can do is watch me. And the pediatrician says "of course! You're the one with the boobs!" Yes, I acknowledge the truth of that statement but well, it was a funny way to put it and not exactly um, medical. At home we usually just call me "food lady". I doubt that the pediatrician wanted to say "boobs" exactly but it was just one of those moments. And well, my boobs are pretty large and noticeable. Anna saw me naked yesterday and she called me "boob lady" so I guess that's just what people see first.

I thought I would mention the sleep thing to the pediatrician as well, and as I expected, it's totally normal. I told him that this was about how it was with Anna and he said "your kids are probably just not sleepers." I know, buddy, I know. I am so jealous because my friend Lindsay who had her baby a week after Ethan has the ultimate sleepy baby. I think he may even sleep all night but she wouldn't tell me because she said it would make me feel bad. Sigh.

I can see how I have kids that are so awake and alert though. Neither Uri or I have ever been ones to sleep in or nap much. Even as exhausted as I am, it's hard for me to nap. Today I snuck in a little one after dropping Anna at preschool but it's just so hard to shut down my brain in the morning. I did it though, at this point it's more about survival than anything else.

In other sad news, Uri has to go to China for a week and two weekends. He will be gone on Halloween and I'm so bummed about it because I love Halloween. I will make sure to take the kids out because Anna would be so sad to miss trick-or-treating but it just won't be the same without Uri. My mom and her husband are driving up for a few days before Halloween to help me and my sister and her partner are coming after - so it's nice that I'll have help. But still, sad panda about Halloween.

Anna has been really into posing lately so I leave you with what I call "The Pencil Series".